Who's your daddy....

June 20, 2010

Being back on the ambien makes for an early rising Jessica.  Sadly it's like at the butt crack of dawn or in the case of today...way before dawn at 4 am.  What the shit??  A cancer patient needs to sleep!! 

Ugh...why can't things just go normally?  I made myself lay in bed until there was sunlight and then I went to roam the house.  Once Jon got up and was trying to get ready to take the dogs out for their first of many walks of the day I decided to give him a little Father's Day gift of walking the two bigger dogs. 

This was the first mildly physical thing I have done since being home from the hospital.  Granted the dogs didn't get their usual around the block walk but I did take them to the stop sign and back.  Juniper and Mally both did their business but as we were making our way back to the house I was realizing that I had bitten off more than I could chew and may have to crawl back to the house.  Just as I was worrying that I should have brought my phone in order to prompt a rescue mission Mally ran into a yard and started to drop her third poo of the walk.  I immediately said "NO" very firmly and pushed the button on her shock collar that issues a tone and not the shock which is her warning of get where you need to be or the shock is next.  So she pops up and starts to run but she is still pooping.  Finally she breaks into a run and the final turd comes flying out and literally torpedo's over her head and almost collides with her nose.

I began to laugh hysterically which gave me enough endorphins to make it back to the house.  Jon was waiting and although he was a little perturbed that I took the dogs on my own he was thankful for the gesture.  It's been hard on him juggling everything and not really having any downtime.  I wanted today to be as stress free as possible.

Dear God in heaven, please let there be no medical crisis on this day.  We need a day of rest...it's Sunday...work with me, okay?  Thanks a bunch.  Love Always, Jess 

I began to feel hungry so I offered to make breakfast.  It felt good to be cooking again.  I kept it simple with just eggs and toast but I felt as though I had accomplished a lot given how I've been feeling prior to now. 

Hannah called and wished Jon a Happy Father's Day and I did the same with my dad.  Olivia came home from spending the night at a friends house and we commenced with giving Jon his gift.  So what do you give the man who really has nothing, wants everything (that is super expensive) and is carrying the financial weight of the family on his shoulders? 

A six pack of beer and his favorite snacks are a great place to start.  We also got him a t-shirt, a book about the history of war (yep, he's a history geek) and the DVD set of the original "V" television series that scared the shit out of both he and I as kids.

I wish I could have done more because without him I don't think I could be as strong as I try to be everyday battling this disease.  He and I have had our fair share of issues but the one area that I've never doubted him in was the role of father.  I feel blessed knowing that should anything go wrong my girls will continue to be loved and cared for in the same manner that they have been for their entire lives.

I hope next year will find us celebrating his fatherdom with me having a clean bill of health.  Here's to wishing.